What If You’re Not Failing — Just Using the Wrong System?

Welcome to the Overgivers Anonymous podcast. My name is Angela Mondor, also known as the Geeky Girl. In this podcast, we’re going to be talking about some amazing things to help you get over overgiving.   

 

 Hi, and welcome to this episode of the Over Givers Anonymous podcast. My name is Angela Monor. I’m also known as the Geeky Girl. And today, let’s talk about something. Now, I want you to think, what if you’re not failing? You’re just using the wrong systems,

 

big time, right? So first of all. Thinking about things that aren’t working, we typically automatically go to that whole failing piece. So what if you aren’t failing? What if you’re just using the wrong system for your brain? What if you need something different? Neurodivergent, entrepreneurs are constantly told to just be more consistent, but the advice often ignores how our brains are actually working or the things, the energy levels that we have or the way that we need to do things.

 

It just doesn’t work for us. And hearing it over and over again really feels like we’re failing. Let’s talk about something different. Let’s discuss and explore why traditional productivity methods often backfire for us neurodivergent folks, and let’s start talking about how we can design a system that supports your unique energy and the life that you’re trying to build.

 

So, you know. I have had lots of times in my career. I’ve, I’ve owned this particular business since 2009. We’ve had some iterations over the years different changes that we have made. But I have run businesses since I was about, about 18, probably as soon as I could start, I was running businesses. In fact, even in high school, I babysat instead of having a JOB.

 

And so I was running my own business and scheduling. You didn’t think about it that way, but I was, doing the, you know, for babysitting, you have to make sure your schedule’s in place and you’ve gotta be in places and negotiating prices and all those kinds of things. So I’ve always been a bit of an entrepreneur, even though I did do a stint in corporate, which totally burnt me out and destroyed me.

 

But in the entrepreneurial journey, there has been some really interesting things that developed over time. When I was a kid, I didn’t realize. It was a business. I was just babysitting. I was doing my thing. Then I did some network marketing kind of businesses where there was a system in place and I just needed to follow their system.

 

I gotta tell you, their system did not work for this lady’s brain. It was not okay and didn’t work for me. So that wasn’t awesome. Then I went to corporate and there’s, I could fit inside there, but it didn’t really kind of. Mush properly. I learned some really cool lessons over there though. And then of course, starting this business in 2009, which was completely different.

 

I did try to follow rigid systems that I was told I should do running my business the way everybody else did, all those kinds of things. It didn’t work for me. Again, I found I was struggling and I was frustrated. I remember going to bed some nights and saying to my husband, maybe I just need to quit and get a job.

 

Maybe, maybe I just need to quit. This is it. Like, I, I can’t make this work. I’m having trouble. And he, he’d so supportive. I’m so grateful. He would just say to me, you know what, honey? I would rather you not work at all than go get a job, because that’s gonna, you’re gonna be broken just like you were last time.

 

I’m the kind of person who works really, really hard and works until I burn out and. The corporate world will just keep taking and taking and taking until there’s nothing left of you to give, and now you’re a shell. That’s the way that the work industry works for me. So thankfully with his support and learning that I needed to change the way I was doing things allowed me to build a business that is not only successful, but also doesn’t burn me out, and doesn’t leave me completely strapped for things to do.

 

And I actually have a life outside of my business. It’s like a miracle. So traditional methods didn’t work for me either. So let’s talk about what that can look like for you. And yes, I did blame myself for failing. It wasn’t. It wasn’t me though. I, those systems that I tried to use didn’t work.

 

So I needed to change things. I need to give myself permission to say, okay, that’s not the way that’s gonna work for me. I have to find another way. And in that process, I realized that there wasn’t just one way. There are multitude of ways to get things done. Now I love helping people look through and see which ones they wanna try and using different strategies and different momentums throughout the process.

 

So I enjoy finding all the cute little neat things that can be done and it’s different and based on what you need at the time. So I hope you can start to think outside the box of the different ways that you can create your business and maybe stop using some of those systems. It just, they were never meant for us in the first place.

 

So. We can feel as neurodivergent entrepreneurs. Sometimes there’s this inconsistent focus or there’s inconsistent motivation for us and partially because rigid schedules can feel suffocating and it, it can really make it so that you’re.

 

Energy. Natural ebbs and flows don’t work well in that structured, unforgiving environment. And so that can cause some inconsistency in your focus and motivation throughout the entire process. Our executive function can be challenged. Maybe we struggle with executive dysfunction, so traditional productivity hacks are based on executive dysfunction working the way that it’s supposed to.

 

And so those traditional productivity hacks actually. Often we ignore the mental labor involved in getting started for us or in finding the buy-in that we require to get going on those sorts of things. Executive dysfunction is a massive piece towards why some of those traditional things don’t work.

 

Masking and self-criticism is something that we have been doing our whole lives. Let’s be honest. We mask when we feel like we need to hide or we need to change the way we are. We self criticize. We got these voices in our heads. I call them guilt monsters. And maybe you start to feel broken or lazy because this proven system that everybody else says work isn’t working for you.

 

So you turn the tables on yourself with a self criticism and say, you are the one at fault, as opposed to saying maybe the system just isn’t built for you. Burning out from over structuring can also cause some problems there. Some of us like to be in structure and some of us don’t like to be in structure, and some of us like some of it, but not all of it.

 

And so when you’re forcing yourself into a routine that doesn’t align with your brain, that can lead to exhaustion and shutdown. You might be more of an afternoon evening person than a morning person, and if you try desperately to fit into that 5:00 AM work schedule, it’s going to totally destroy your life.

 

Maybe you don’t need a 5:00 AM schedule, maybe you need a 9:00 AM schedule, but because everybody else says that 5:00 AM is what works. You try and try and try and you feel like you are a failure rather than the system being what’s the problem. Okay, so let’s talk about some actionable tips that you can do to help yourself change your mindset a little bit and to look at the systems that you’re currently using and find something that works for you.

 

So, first of all, redefine what consistency means for you. Consistency doesn’t have to mean doing the same thing every day. Ha. But it can mean showing up in a way that’s sustainable on a regular basis. So ask yourself what version of consistency feels doable and kind for me. So consistency doesn’t have to be, I’m going to do these 17 things every day.

 

Remember? It can mean showing up on a regular basis. Well, what does that look like to you? Consistency to me means being able to get the work done that I need to get done for my clients before I have my next call with them. Consistency doesn’t mean that I’m going to do it in a specific way, but I’m gonna find those energy pockets to get those things done that need to be done.

 

It also means that I can consistently create content for you. How does, how can I make that happen? What are the parameters around that? How can I make sure that I’m doing the things I need to do for those things? It doesn’t have to be creating a piece every single day. Okay. Using tools that help me to schedule, to create this content and to repurpose it.

 

All of those things. So it doesn’t have to be the same. You don’t have to, it’s not cookie cutter, but consistency can mean. Creating something that works for you, that’s going to give you the outcomes that you’re looking for, okay? Build your day around energy, not expectation. Instead of thinking, I have to do this, even though I don’t feel like doing it.

 

Instead, I encourage you to think about what is, let’s try to identify what are your high energy and low energy hours slash days. And help you plan accordingly. This energy flow isn’t gonna be the same every day. You’re gonna have some days when you have more and some days that you have less. And even still, even during those energy cycles, there might be days that are better energy days than others, depending on what’s happening in your life.

 

Okay? So being able to build something on a. You know, structure’s the wrong word, but to build a concept around how this is gonna look, I can look at my weekly calendar and see where I have client calls, and I’ll know based on how many client calls I have, what that energy’s gonna look like for the rest of the day.

 

What can I actually put into there? Is it going to be more, higher or lower energy, depending on what I’m doing on those calls? So allow your routine to bend and flex with your real life. So you may have things that are going on in your personal life versus things that are happening in your business versus things that randomly occur that you have no control over.

 

Allow yourself to be flexible within this time organization that you create. Remember, that system that you’re creating is supposed to be built for you, working with your energy, not against it. Okay. Another thing to do is to make one shift at a time. Don’t do a complete overhaul. Don’t throw everything out and start from scratch, but just choose one area.

 

Maybe it’s your morning or maybe it’s work, working on those blocks of work time that we talked about just now. Or maybe it’s taking breaks, actually taking time for lunch one thing at a time, and adapt it so that it can better support you in how you actually function and know this. This is always in tweak mode.

 

There’s always going to be a need to look and change and constantly revise, revisit, and see what it is that you’re going to do differently moving forward. Okay? Track how you feel, not what you accomplished. Track whether or not these things are actually helping you feel better or making you feel worse.

 

And if you have things that are overwhelming that need to get done, maybe there are things. That just aren’t part of your circle of brilliance. Maybe those are the things that you need to outsource, okay? All of these things are gonna help you build a rhythm that’s gonna support your brain and your goals as well.

 

’cause we wanna be able to make sure we’re completing our goals. We can’t run a business without money. We can’t have a business without goals. You don’t wanna ask somebody else leading you in a direction you don’t want to go. Let’s create a business that you love. Something that you wanna do, something that drives you forward and gives you that energy that you’re looking for when you’re trying to be inspired.

 

Okay? So just remember, you are not broken. The system is so let’s fix the system. When you stop forcing yourself into someone else’s structure, then you get to start designing one that fits you, and then everything starts to change. So that is my key takeaway for you today, is that. Designing your own structure, designing your own system, designing a business that fits you is going to be brilliant.

 

When it comes to your energy levels, your excitement, your ability to get more done, really, you will get more done. It’s true. Now, if this is something you’re struggling with and you wanna learn how you want, maybe some more help to get this done. I’ll be teaching a full process on designing your day the way that you want it to be in an upcoming masterclass.

 

So we’re gonna go from overwhelm to aligned action, and you can get the information about how you can be part of this masterclass here in the show notes, in the description of the YouTube. You will get it all here. Okay? This is going to give you the ability to change your business for the better. To make it so that you are energized rather than overwhelmed, and you’re going to love your business more day after day after day.

 

I hope you have a fantastic week, and I look forward to talking to you next week. Have a good one. Bye for now.