Let’s get one thing straight: overwhelm isn’t a personality flaw, a sign you’re broken, or an indication that you just need to “try harder.” It’s a signal — like your body’s very own “check engine” light. But instead of pulling over to assess what’s up, many of us just keep driving until the wheels fall off. Sound familiar? If you’ve ever muttered, “I should be able to handle this,” while buried under a pile of to-dos, welcome to the club. Membership includes a free side of burnout and a complimentary serving of guilt. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Let’s break down overwhelm — what it really is, why it shows up, and how you can finally tell it to take a hike.

Reframing Overwhelm: It’s Not You, It’s a Signal

First things first: overwhelm is not a personal failure. It’s your brain waving a big ol’ red flag that says, “Hey, something’s off!” But what do we do instead? We “should” on ourselves. I should be able to handle this. I should be more organized. I should be more like that Pinterest mom with the color-coded planner. (Spoiler: she’s probably overwhelmed too.)

Instead of treating overwhelm like a character flaw, try seeing it as a message. It might be telling you you’ve said yes to too much, that you’re out of alignment, or maybe — just maybe — that you need a snack and a nap, not another productivity hack. Reframing this response can help you move from scattered to steady. And doesn’t “steady” sound way sexier than “barely hanging on”?

The sooner you learn to recognize overwhelm for what it is — an internal nudge, not a failure alarm — the easier it is to course-correct before you end up in full meltdown mode (which, let’s be honest, often involves crying on the floor and ghosting your inbox).

The Many Flavors of Overwhelm

Not all overwhelm is created equal. Sometimes it’s a low-simmer situation: a task you’re avoiding because it feels too big or confusing. Other times it’s a full-blown system shutdown, where leaving the house or even responding to a text feels like climbing Everest in flip-flops.

There’s the “Oops, I said yes to one too many things” overwhelm, the “Why is everyone suddenly talking to me at once?” overwhelm, and the very special “I ignored my own needs until my body made me stop” variety. Trust me, I’ve sampled them all. Some even come with a free migraine and a side of irritability!

The key is noticing the signs early. When you get better at identifying the pattern (like realizing you always hit burnout right after saying yes to three different “quick favors”), you give yourself the power to hit pause before you hit the wall.

Why Neurodivergent Brains Experience Overwhelm Differently

Here’s the truth: overwhelm doesn’t hit everyone the same. Neurodivergent folks, in particular, get front-row seats to the sensory overload circus. It’s not just the noise, the lights, or the way your sweater feels like sandpaper. It’s the decisions. It’s the notifications. It’s being asked a question while also trying to remember what you walked into the room for. (Spoiler: it wasn’t to cry into a bag of chips, but here we are.)

Add in task paralysis — the joy of knowing you need to do something but having no clue where to start — and it’s a recipe for spinning wheels. Oh, and let’s not forget the people-pleasing. Saying yes when you mean no? Yeah, that drains your energy faster than a TikTok scroll at midnight.

And don’t even get me started on boundary blurring. If someone ignores your “no” and you let it slide, that’s like putting your emotional bank account into overdraft. You deserve to protect your bandwidth like it’s a VIP pass to peace and quiet. Because it is.

The Mind Games of Overwhelm: Loops, Floods, and Fantasy Failures

Let’s talk about the brain’s favorite drama: the negative self-talk loop. You know the one. It plays on repeat like a bad pop song from 2008. Did I say something wrong? Did I offend them? Should I have phrased that differently? Whether it’s about a client conversation or that time you forgot to reply to an email in 2019, these mental reruns are exhausting.

Then there’s emotional flooding — when you’re so overwhelmed by emotion (good or bad) that logic packs up and leaves the building. You can’t plan, you can’t think, and suddenly you’re crying in the grocery store because they’re out of your favorite cereal. It happens.

Sometimes, you’re not even upset. You’re excited! Too excited to sit still or finish the task you were supposed to do an hour ago. Excitement is still energy, and too much of it can leave you spinning your wheels with nothing to show for it. Thanks, brain.

 

What to Do Instead (AKA The “I’ve Had Enough” Toolkit)

So what can you actually do about overwhelm (besides yelling into a pillow)? Step one: pause. Step two: ask, “What is this feeling trying to tell me?” Sometimes it’s something simple — like your shirt is scratchy or you forgot to eat. Other times, it’s deeper: you’re doing work that doesn’t align with your goals, or you’re ignoring your body’s need to rest.

The more you practice listening to those signals, the better you get at catching them early. That way, you can adjust before everything spirals into chaos. Also, if you’re wondering if that heavy emotion is even yours (hello, empathy overload), you’re not wrong to check. You might just be carrying someone else’s stress like a guilt-ridden emotional Sherpa.

And remember: if something feels “off,” you don’t need to power through. You need to power down. Ask yourself what you really need. Maybe it’s a break. Maybe it’s clarity. Maybe it’s telling someone no without adding a three-paragraph apology. You get to choose what supports your sanity.

 

Overwhelm is not your enemy — it’s your body waving a flag and yelling, “Hey! Something’s gotta give!” Instead of blaming yourself for feeling it, start getting curious. Ask questions. Set boundaries. Give yourself permission to rest, regroup, and wear the soft shirt that doesn’t make you want to crawl out of your skin.

You’re not too much. You’re not lazy. You’re not failing. You’re human — possibly neurodivergent — and doing your best in a world that rarely hands out pause buttons. So give yourself one. And the next time overwhelm tries to move in rent-free, tell it: “Not today, friend. I’ve got clarity on my side.”

 

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