Self-Care Secrets Every Entrepreneur Must Hear 💡

[00:00:00] Welcome to the Overgivers Anonymous podcast. My name is Angela Mondor, also known as the Geeky Girl. In this podcast, we’re going to be talking about some amazing things to help you get over overgiving.

Angela Mondor – The Geeky Girl: Hi, and welcome to this episode of the Overgivers Anonymous podcast. My name is Angela Mondor, and I’m also known as the Geeky Girl. And today I have a really cool guest for you today. Kylie Marie is here and she is about empowering families through mentorship and coaching, helping people find their dream homes.

And she’s passionate about making a difference. She’s a high vibe mom of four and an accomplished author and speaker and a dedicated community leader. Thank you so much for being here, Kylie.

Kylie Marie: Thank you for having me. I am so excited. I’m really well. Thank you. How are you?

Angela Mondor – The Geeky Girl: I’m good. Thank you. I would love to know. So how old are your children? You said you have four of them.

Kylie Marie: I do. And people are gonna be surprised because I have my oldest is 14. And people are always like, so I have 14, 10, seven, [00:01:00] and then I have an 18 month old.

Angela Mondor – The Geeky Girl: Wow. Okay. I have two. So I have a 25 and a 30.

Yes. Yes. It’s true. So yes, they’re so fun. I absolutely love it. It’s really wild being a mom of a teenager and a, we call her the baby, but a toddler.

Yeah,

Kylie Marie: big, huge difference. Yes, so we go from middle school baseball games to a library story time in the same day. I

Angela Mondor – The Geeky Girl: can see how that could be super challenging to be managing, not even just, you know, the fact that you’re having to take your mindset from one place to another, but you’re managing different ages and stages in such a very real now moment.

I can imagine that being a bit chaotic.

Kylie Marie: It can be. And that is why I always make sure that I fill my cup up as much as I can when I get the chance to. Consistently. Not when I get the chance to. [00:02:00] I, I will say I will correct that. I do, I get the chance to often because I make time for it. And then.

What are some

Angela Mondor – The Geeky Girl: of the things that are most important for you that you do to fill your cup?

Kylie Marie: You know, self growth. is one of my biggest things I love to learn. I’m a lifelong learner. I can’t tell you how many certifications I have on top of my degree. So that really is a really big one for me. And I know some people that feels heavy, right?

And they’re like, Oh man, like, you know, to take on a new certification or something, but I really, really, really love it. And then like day to day, I love to have my nails done. Like my nails are always done. And I know it sounds maybe silly to some people, but one, it always makes me feel put together.

And if I feel put together, then I’m going to show up better, not just as myself, but for everyone else. And. Then, you know, it’s little things. It’s just, it’s little things like maybe I want to eat chocolate today for Maybe as many times as I’m like but it can be as [00:03:00] little as that actually, whenever I go visit a new mom, like after she’s had her baby or I always bring a gift and there’s always chocolate in it and I write in the card, eat the freaking chocolate because as much as, as silly as it sounds, as small as the pieces of chocolate is, there’s something about it, at least for me, that just, you know, you spend that minute just Savoring the flavor, I guess, you know, if you’re a chocolate lover, if you’re not like choose, I don’t know.

My best friend really loves sour Skittles. So, you know, still eat sour Skittles, so whatever you love, but there is something about just whatever it is that you really enjoy taking that minute with yourself for yourself. And so it’s everything from a small. Chocolate to going on a cruise without my kids.

Angela Mondor – The Geeky Girl: Yes. And I think that, you know it’s important for us to look after ourselves both with and without our children. I think that that’s really important. It’s something that my husband had a hard time [00:04:00] with. He, he really didn’t think that our kids should ever be away from us and that, that we should always be, you know, that we should never have anybody looking after them and stuff.

And I, so we had, we had some long discussions about that. It’s hard for him to do.

Kylie Marie: It’s very common in the parenting world. So I also, you know, do parenting coaching and that is a big thing that we talk about. And in my parenting coaching, we kind of work backwards and it’s, it’s very interesting and it’s very personal and it’s more about you than it is about your kids and about the situation even, but that is a very, very common thing that comes up and it is.

Something that I kind of help walk people through because it’s important for you to still have your sense of identity and also realize that you can have that and be a mom. So I’ve spanned 14 years of children, right? And it’s, it’s very different. And there were times, there was times, you know, it was, you know, I think people say like, Oh, I turned 30 and like, you know, your life kind of changes a little [00:05:00] bit.

When I was 29, I woke up one day and I was like, I can’t do this anymore. And that was actually, that was actually when I went through my first divorce. I went from being the mom that just my kids were my world. I was that person all day every day. I mean, I ate, slept and breathed them. I absolutely, I still love them and adore them so much, but I woke up that day and I knew something had to change.

And that was the day that I went and got a Part time serving um, I actually am a real estate agent as well. You had mentioned that and I’ve been doing that for 10 years, but I was like kind of like more part time with it. And so I actually like woke up that day and I went and we started serving with one of my friends because it was like my getaway.

I got to have conversations with other people with adults and, and, you know, and all that. And there’s so much to be said when you feel that part of yourself and you honor yourself. You actually show [00:06:00] up so much better for everyone else when you’ve shown up for yourself first. Yes. 100%. That’s what this is all about.

Angela Mondor – The Geeky Girl: Yeah. And it’s, it’s interesting. Like we talk about ages and stages and where we are. And of course my kids being adults now doesn’t mean to say they don’t, they don’t take up the same kind of time that other kids do cause they do. But

Kylie Marie: no, I’m pretty sure that my mom didn’t move into the same town as me because, and I tell her this, so it’s okay.

I can say this publicly. I told her, I said, well, I think that. You just don’t want to move here because you’re afraid that I’m just going to be there every day. Ha ha ha! Yes, yes. And she lives 45 minutes away because she knows I’m not going to drive 45 minutes every day. Every day, yeah. We still take up our parents time as adults.

Angela Mondor – The Geeky Girl: Of course. Yeah. And it’s an interesting concept. The world has changed a lot. I mean you know, I’m in a different, probably generation bracket than you as well you know, the way that we’ve seen the world change. Right. So the definition of parenting in terms of, you [00:07:00] know, how I don’t mean the difference between like a helicopter parent versus, you know, those kinds of things, but certainly being a parent now means you’re parenting a lot longer timeframe.

Then our parents and your grandparents and your parents probably did, right? And so that changes the dynamic as well. I know that when my kids were younger, it was all about the kids and everything was about the kids. I mean, we had one daughter who played hockey who, like, sometimes she was on the ice three times a day.

So, like, there was a lot of driving and hockey mom moments, right? So, obviously,

Kylie Marie: Okay. Yes. We retired. We retired from hockey. That’s awesome.

Angela Mondor – The Geeky Girl: Mine’s playing beer league now.

So, you know, things, things change, but at the same point, I think there’s some changes that happen in your life too, as a human. And, you know, you talked about, you know, turning 30 and you’re like, Whoa, hold on a second. Like some stuff’s got to change here because stuff’s different. Right. I mean, I didn’t get diagnosed with ADHD till I was in my thirties.

Yeah. And so then you, you know, you move in through, then you’ve got your ages and stage of your own life. And now, of course, my husband is probably [00:08:00] retiring. The plan is he’s retiring next year, which changes the dynamic again now, right? Because now my husband and I are building our life because our kids are grown ups.

And so it’s interesting as we, you know, we think about parenting, but how we were raised sort of plays into how we feel we should be parents. And then how that evolves after we become parents and then you’re a parent for a while, right? Like this is always this ebb and flow and change of parenting.

Kylie Marie: Yes. And I actually had a conversation with somebody it was on a women’s retreat, a working retreat. And we had, we had a conversation about that as. Her allowing herself to live through phases. And, you know, she was like, you know, she’s a parent to young children. She was like, you know, I, you know, we get this mentality that sometimes, like, it’s this way, it has to be this way forever.

And she’s starting to have these transitions in her life, like you’ve already been through. And she was like, Oh, I feel like I get to live through phases. And I think as we get older again, like you mentioned, [00:09:00] you’re likely in a different generation than I am. And as we get older, we see these changes and we see these phases.

And now we get to live life in a different way, which maybe means we get to take care of ourselves more than we could before. But that’s kind of how like I was, I had me first at 20. So I’m 34 now, but when I was 29, I remember I woke up and I was like, I can’t do this anymore, like I have to have a change, like, energetically.

I knew I just couldn’t keep doing what I was doing, how I was doing it. And after plenty of self work, I’m also a yoga instructor, so I had been through a year long process to get that certification and that I think there was just a lot of awakening in there and I just shifted you know, on an energetic level.

And was like, yeah, something’s got to change and it’s living life through phases and I honor that phase of my life and every other phase that I have been through and will go through. And it can be challenging, but it’s really beautiful when people [00:10:00] realize that it gets to be like that, that it gets, it gets to be these fun different phases that you grow through and that you just get to experience yourself in different ways.

Angela Mondor – The Geeky Girl: When I love the fact that you, you know, alluded earlier to like personal development and learning and growing and all of those things give us really great insight into who we are as human being. But also we get to learn from other experiences while like other people, while we’re going through those growth moments and you know, to, to be able to look back and go, I’m not the same person I was yesterday, last week, 10 years ago, 20 years ago.

But to be able to look back and go. Like you said, I honor that. I know where it was, right? And I’m a big believer in knowing where I’m headed, right? To have an end in mind. This is, this is where I’m headed. And I think that helps, especially when, when things start to change a little bit. To be able to go, okay, hold on a second.

If this doesn’t feel right, where am I headed? Am I headed in the direction that makes me feel good? Or do I need to shift? Like you said, like you’re like, I need a shift.

Kylie Marie: Yeah. And I [00:11:00] really believe you know, over the past few years, I I believe that we need to make our decisions about anything in life, whether it’s your job and you need to change, whether you don’t feel that you are comfortable, maybe, or just being a say, Oh, mom, isn’t the thing for you anymore.

It’s okay. Mom go is okay. We’ll work through those things. And I worked with those things with clients. All the time. Friends and friends all the time. And I’m like, this is okay. This is a new phase of you and you get to witness the previous phase. And then looking forward, you get to be like, okay. And you know, and it’s funny that you say you’re like, I have the end game in mind.

Just remember that it doesn’t always have to go the way that you desire it to go. I, I actually don’t. Someone asked me not too long ago, like what my five year, like, plan or goal was. And I was like, I don’t do that. Because I changed so much that if you would have asked me. If you would have asked me five years ago if I would be where I am today, I would be like, actually, absolutely not.

I would have been [00:12:00] like, No,

Angela Mondor – The Geeky Girl: I

Kylie Marie: don’t, I can’t

Angela Mondor – The Geeky Girl: guarantee that my, my end in mind today is the same as it was five years ago that I can’t guarantee, but every, every chance. So once a year, at least I go through and go, okay, am I heading in the right direction? But when things go sideways, which they ultimately do, then I get to check in and go, okay, this is where I think I’m headed.

Like, do I feel right? Like, I mean, obviously my husband retiring next year, we’ve been doing this trajectory for about three years or about two years now. And it was like three years ago, two years ago, we were saying in three years, he’s going to retire. What does that look like? We’re, you know, and then we had to have a conversation as a couple.

It’s like, so here’s the way I see it. How do you see it? Like, what do you need in retirement? And I’m like, okay, well, first of all, you need to stay busy because you just can’t be at house all day. You need to stay active and engaged, right? You got to keep busy. And you know, it’s like, here’s the things I need, right?

Like I need to be near water. So either we’re going to be near a big body of water. We’re going to be by the ocean, whatever I need trees. I do not, I need to get out of the city. So having those [00:13:00] conversations, when you know, even, even like, if it’s not like here’s my five year, 10 year, 20 year plan, but it’s a trajectory, it’s just like, this is what I think I want.

And then at least when you make decisions, those decisions can line up against, Oh, that’s not going to fit with that model. Do I still want that model?

Kylie Marie: Yeah. And I would say it’s, you know, it’s moving out of excitement and joy. Yes. You know, or comfortability. And it’s, you know, that at the end of the day, you want to be happy in a location doing what you enjoy doing.

And I, so I always tell people like, let’s start there. Let’s make our decisions today. Cause every minute is a decision, right? Like when I got something to drink, I think about her water or soda. But what, what was it that I desired in that moment? And so my slogan, my like tagline actually is, let’s flip the script into the life that you desire.

And so it’s making decisions consciously every day that lead us towards that joy, which is the end, the end result.

Angela Mondor – The Geeky Girl: Yeah, [00:14:00] yeah. It’s, you know, I think that it’s, it’s a beautiful thing, and like I said, it changes, right, and you don’t know whether or not the trajectory is 100 percent right, and I like to think of it more like a compass rather than a turn by turn GPS, right, because you’re gonna fall off the side of the, of the hill one day, you’re gonna go for a tumble, you might roll in some dirt, and you have to get up and brush yourself off, right?

But ultimately, then you

Kylie Marie: know what, maybe I, maybe I want to change, you know, so many things too. And it, and I think that that’s like a really big, beautiful aspect of that. I do. I really love to travel. And sometimes people look at me a little weird when I tell them, like, I never take in my kids on a cruise.

And I very, it’s very rare that I do like a big vacation with the kids. Like we do trips in our, like. In the United States. Right. So we’ll go here or there. I mean, it’s very drivable. We’re very blessed to be in the location that we, and we can, we can be at the ocean and eight hours, right. Or we can be in Nashville and five.

It’s cool. But you [00:15:00] know, I built my own cup up by doing those trips. I am taking my son next month on his first cruise, but that’ll be the first time that I’ve taken my kids on a trip like that, because I always try to make sure that I do those things for me and I’m not inducing more stress, but letting

Angela Mondor – The Geeky Girl: And just anybody that has kids knows that whatever you’re going to do, whether it’s you’re leaving the house to go to the park or you’re leaving the house to go to Greece, it doesn’t matter what that thing is.

The minute you involve children, all things go out the window, right? So yeah, the added stress, like some people. Some people are okay with adding that extra stress on their trips and some people are like, you know what? I just don’t need that right now and it’s okay to be that right? It’s okay to say hey, this is not for me This isn’t what I want it to be and like I always call it I talk about guilt monsters a lot and I remember having these I mean as you know with ADHD and you know Being neurodivergent our guilt monsters are you know can be fun, [00:16:00] but I remember being you know, I started my business and my kids were younger and I had these guilt monsters.

It was like, Oh, I should be spending time with my kids when I was at work. And it was like, I should be at work when I was spending time with kids. So I kept shooting all over myself. And that really destroyed a lot of it. First of all, I wasn’t present with my kids because I was so busy, but worrying about work.

I wasn’t present at work because I was so worried about the kids. The biggest lesson I took was be present. And when I was with my kids, I was with my kids. As much as you can work doesn’t exist, right? And vice versa. And I think that, you know, that lesson alone was huge for me as a parent to be able to go, Ah, I need to take that time for me.

Kylie Marie: It is. It is. It’s so big. And when I work with parents who do that consistently, it helps your relationship as well, because you can take your time for yourself. And then, you know, and you can take time together. But that doing it for yourself alone sometimes is. [00:17:00] Very important. And there are times there are people who I know who feel like they don’t remember the last time they were alone, or they did, you know, and so it is, it’s very, very valuable to do that.

Angela Mondor – The Geeky Girl: And, and the learning to be able to be alone, like I remember when I was younger, and I’d be meeting somebody for coffee or a meal or something, and I would never go into the restaurant by myself because I didn’t want people to think I was, Like a loser, I was alone, right? And I, you know, that was sort of like, that was the mindset at the time.

Well, just, I think it was last year, I think it was we have a spa in town that’s just Unbelievable. And I had, I had had a really crazy busy week and it was like, bang, bang, bang. I had like a, a a fundraiser that I had done, like a huge fundraiser that we’d done that week. Plus my nephew was getting married.

Plus there was, there was a whole bunch of things that I had done another back to back fundraiser before that. And I’m like, I’m going to the spa on Sunday. And then this woman’s like. So, who are you going with? I’m like, myself? She goes, you’re going to the spa by yourself? I’m like, yeah, I get to spend as many hours as I want there, and everybody has to be [00:18:00] quiet, and I’m alone.

I’m in. To, to be able to spend time alone with yourself is so powerful. It is. And

Kylie Marie: I think people, well, you know, and people are afraid to do that, and they’re afraid to be the loner. They’re, there’s also a subconscious fear, I think, as well, of sitting with yourself. And because when you sit with yourself and you learn yourself more, There’s a lot of growth that happens.

It’s hard for people to, especially when they have kind of more chaos going on and they’re so used to it. It’s hard for them to sit with themselves and be by themselves and their own thoughts. Especially depending on the level of self awareness. And I love it. I, you know, I’m a single mom of four kids.

My kids go to their dad’s. So I spend a lot of time alone and I’ve come to really love it. I, I, I, I, I love winding down at the end of the day, just in bed. Okay. By myself with my little Chihuahua, sometimes I don’t even want her in there. Sometimes I’m like, get out of the room, closing the door. Yeah. I need alone time.

Sometimes it can get really anxious, nice and [00:19:00] injournally. And you find so much of yourself there, you find so much of what you actually desire when you sit in those moments. And sometimes you see your shadow, and that’s okay, we get to work through those things. But I feel like there is a sense of sometimes fear of, of thoughts, and oh, we’re going to start feeling things, right?

So, there’s, there’s a lot to be said about it, but there’s so much magic in that when you find a good balance. And you shouldn’t be alone all the time, but you know, when we went on the girls, the girls retreat, we did you know, it was helped by my coach, right? So coaches have coaches too. And so we all did a you know, two hours together.

And then we had like challenges and tasks that we had to do throughout the day. But I will tell you that on the task was go take a walk on the beach for 15 minutes. Go take a like a nap or go relax, go read a book, sit in silence for 10 minutes was a task on there and those are things that you’re doing by yourself.

[00:20:00] And there were other things on the list, of course, to do with other people and collaborate, but she was very intentional that as you got down that list. And not that I followed through the list. I was all over the place, but not everyone’s like that. But as you got, you went through the list, you saw that she intentionally in the pocket.

I’m going to put one here, one here, one there, because there’s so much value in it.

Angela Mondor – The Geeky Girl: Well, and the other piece to it, I think people are afraid of the still, not necessarily the stillness, but also the concept of busy, right? Especially with neurodivergent people, we’ve had, especially if you’re late diagnosed, because then early in life, you’re like, why are you?

Why aren’t you behaving the way the other kids are behaving? Or why can’t you keep up with the other kids? Or why are you doing the things you’re doing? So there’s this other weight on you. Why are you so

Kylie Marie: hyper? Why don’t you stop moving?

Angela Mondor – The Geeky Girl: Yeah. Right. Like, why do you keep daydreaming? Like all those things.

Right. So when you, when you go alone now, all of a sudden, what do you do? And I’m the kind of ADHD that I [00:21:00] need, like if, if the task I’m doing requires 10 percent of my energy, then I need something else to take up the other 90%. Right? So like if I’m working and the work is easy, then I need a TV show going in the background, or I need an audio book playing, or I need something else happening around me that isn’t going to distract me but that’s going to fill up that other gap.

And so I think sometimes people think, Oh God, I’m alone. So now all of a sudden, like where do I have to do? But, you know, like you said, there’s journaling, right? Even if you’re walking, you could be exploring your feelings and your thoughts as you’re walking through the woods or down the beach or whatever.

You can be, you know contemplative in those moments, right? So I think it’s just a learning a different way because a lot of us have taught that, you know, we don’t do enough. And so if we’re not constantly doing, then we’re failing. Yes.

Kylie Marie: I love that you mentioned that because

People have a tendency to feel like they have to be working so hard to be successful and to make money. And [00:22:00] I have friends. who work a lot that are very busy. They love what they do, but there are times that like, I’m just kind of like, Oh, I got me a nail done today. You know, and I, or I, you know, I did this and I have a lot of pockets of time sometimes.

And I have to coach myself through some of those moments. Because there might be times where I’m like, Oh, like I really didn’t, I didn’t do that much today. And they’re like really, really busy. And they might think like, maybe I’m really not, I feel like maybe, you know, maybe there’s not as much value in me because I’m not so busy.

And then I have to take that step back and witness myself in that. And so through some of my coaching programs, we really focused on taking that step back and witnessing our thoughts and not letting them become us. But we get to a point. That we, we, through self awareness that we can witness the thought and then we can say, well, this is why I had that thought because when I was a kid or [00:23:00] because of this or that, and so I have to, I have to still even coach myself through those moments that I get to, it gets to be that great that I do get to take care of myself.

Whenever and I still have a meeting or two throughout the day. Right. And there’s yesterday. I was from 8 a. m. To I don’t 10 p. m. busy. Okay. And then there’s days where like, I might have two or three meetings and there might be days where I don’t have any. And you know, there are days like that where I’m like, it’s like a Tuesday.

I should be working like so hard right now. And then I have to check myself because the reality of this is you don’t have to work yourself to the bone to be successful. And society does tell us that. And if we’re neurodivergent, sometimes our brain tells us that, especially because it’s like, let’s do something because I am complex.

ADHD and I am like a tornado sometimes. But I’ve really learned that there’s just so much to be said in that and that you really do [00:24:00] get to take that step back and it’s good for you and you’re not a loser because you’re not super busy that day. But you know, there’s just, there is so much in there.

So, you know, I guess people are listening is, you know, keep in mind that yeah, hard, hard, hard work pays off is what they say. But also like you do get to take care of yourself and work. And enjoy life, and it doesn’t mean anything if you’re not working 12 hours a day like someone else is. You still are just as valuable, if maybe, if not even more so, I don’t know, I don’t know what work you do, but that is something that I wish everybody.

Angela Mondor – The Geeky Girl: Yeah, you know, and I think that one of the things that if, especially if somebody has worked corporately and then they own their own business and they think, Oh, I used to work eight to six or whatever the case may be. And then you go, okay, but hold on a second. When you were working those hours, how many times did you walk by your [00:25:00] neighbor’s desk and stand and chat?

How many times did you go to the bathroom? How many times did you walk by somebody’s desk and chat or pick up the phone to chat with your neighbor? Like there’s times when you’re not working. Yeah. Well, of course. There wasn’t a lot of cell phones around when I was doing corporate stuff, but yeah, you know, but that’s true.

I mean, there was some, but you know, like the, but the times that you took away, like you’d think that, oh, you were productive from eight to six, but you weren’t. And the other side to it is, is that I know that I, I know that as me, as a human being, the way my brain works, I need to schedule my day in a certain way so that I’m giving my best at all times.

And one of those things is I don’t work Fridays. I mean, I don’t work publicly on Fridays. I don’t take meetings and, you know, like, there’s those kinds of things that don’t happen on Fridays. I still work. I work on the things that I want to work on. And, you know Yeah,

Kylie Marie: but he

Angela Mondor – The Geeky Girl: wants to go. Yeah, right. I work on the things that are for my business rather than working in other people’s businesses.

I’m doing the things that are taking me down the rabbit holes that give me that brain flush that make me feel good. Like those are the things that I like to do on [00:26:00] Fridays. And yeah, that’s when I also schedule time to go do the things I have to do to, you know, look after my body with my massage and chiro physio, like all those kinds of things.

I look after myself because I know that. that this, this body is important to look after because it is my vessel that’s going to take me through the rest of my life. And when my body’s in good condition, I’m in good condition. When I’m in a lot of pain, my brain does not work as well.

Kylie Marie: Yeah. Yeah. I actually have like a very routine day.

You know, it’s like the kids get up, we eat, they get on the bus. I go to the gym and I am at the gym pretty much every day, every day by like nine and like in my real estate world, everyone knows my lenders, title companies I work with all the time. They know they’re like, show into the phone, but if you need something, from her on the computer, you have to wait until 11 o’clock.

Yes. So I am kind of like, if you don’t work on Fridays, I generally [00:27:00] don’t start my day until 11. And my peak hours really are like 2 to 4. And that’s where I’m like, I’ve eaten, I’ve showered, I’m like midday shower because I have to go to the gym, and then I come home and I do a little bit of work. And then I’ll tell you, a lot of people are like, it’s the middle of the day.

Like, and I’m like, it’s when I can fit it in. I have four kids, I can’t do both either, you know? And so, you know, I have this routine. And when you learn yourself so well that you can create that routine and then you notice like, Oh wow, I like this. Or if maybe you’re like, something’s not working. So I used to have my peak time from like 11 to one and I just couldn’t, I just couldn’t do it.

Like suddenly it was something that just, I was missing the mark. And I, you know, and so I flipped the script and I was like, okay, well, I need to make this day. What’s going to feel better? Well, because when I get home from the gym, now I’ve pivoted and it’s at two o’clock because I can eat and take care of all these other things.

And then I can shut my brain off [00:28:00] into work. Right. And is it a little, you know, taboo hour? Sure. But when we create the life that we desire. it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if my peak hours are at two a. m. I’m still getting exactly

Angela Mondor – The Geeky Girl: and it doesn’t matter if your peak hours are between 11 and one. And nine and ten.

Yeah. Right? Like, if you have to split your hours, like, go for it. I mean, we, we need to figure out what works for us. And, and with the ages and stages of where we are lots of people my age are looking after aged parents. Their kids are grown, but now they’re looking after aged parents. Which is, you know, there’s those things to encompass as well.

Absolutely,

Kylie Marie: yeah. I take care of my grandma as well, so. Yeah, you know, so like.

Angela Mondor – The Geeky Girl: You gotta find a way to choose yourself, right? To put yourself first so you can fill your cup. I mean, it’s like that whole thing, right? Put your oxygen mask on first, right?

Kylie Marie: I reach that and I know it sounds so like, I don’t know, cliche, but it’s so, so, so true.

Like if you’re on a plane and you don’t have oxygen, you have to do that. Literally, like you have no [00:29:00] choice because you can’t breathe. And honestly, I feel like if we could all take The time to flip the script and look at our lives and our wellbeing, our mental health in that way. And then we’re like, Oh, so I take care of myself.

I’m going to have more capacity. I’m going to have more energy. I’m going to be happier. Yes. So now I arrived. As a happier, my kids get a happier mom now, my teams that I coach get a more involved coach because I’m taking care of my needs as well. And I’m just so freaking happy to be there. I love everything that I do.

And that is also one thing of choosing yourself is. Do what you love. If you don’t love your job, there’s nothing wrong with changing, choosing yourself. And then when you love what you do, you’re showing up even better. And, you know, and like you said, I, [00:30:00] people call me super woman a lot. And I’m like, well, I’m still waiting for that cake to come in the mail, you know, and I wouldn’t, you know, I wouldn’t be running late or just getting there right in the nick of time.

If I had that cake and, you know, and I, and I always laugh about it and I, they’re like, I don’t know how you do it. And I tell them it’s because I do the things that I love. I’ve moved through life through enjoyment and what excites me. And when you do it that way, and I’m choosing myself. Yeah, I’m working for people.

I’m coaching and bringing my kids everywhere. But when you’re moving through and doing things that you really enjoy, like your work, it’s not work, you know, it’s different and it, and you’re happy to be doing it. And, and I love doing everything. And even like coaching my cheerleaders, like I said, like I show up more involved, literally.

They have a good game. They’re cheering and I let them do their tumbling passes and they’re like, do it, do it. And so then I go through and I’m doing like a one handed cartwheel or [00:31:00] something. Who knows? Like off the wall, I’ll get up and do jumps with them, whatever it is, but I take care of myself and I have the energy to do it because I’m choosing myself first.

Yes. And then I’m giving to everyone else. And I’m so much, it took me a long time. And so that’s why I’m here telling all of, you know, your friends, like. This is what you have to do. Trust me. Trust me. I’ve been on both sides of the spectrum. And, and the side that I originally came from, I was tired. I was sad.

My mental health was not where it needed to be. I can guarantee you, if you live

Angela Mondor – The Geeky Girl: on that side, you’ll be like I was. Burnt out. I was so burnt out, I couldn’t even get off the couch for five days. All I could do was get my kids ready for school and pick them up after school, but I couldn’t get off the couch.

You don’t want that, right? If you, if you don’t make time for yourself, Then guess what? Something’s going to make time for you, and it’s going to be sickness, it’s going to be mental illness, I mean, it’ll take you down. So, you’re right, I mean, there’s no, there’s no bones about it. You have to look after yourself, you have to choose yourself, because [00:32:00] otherwise, somebody else is going to choose for you, and you’re not going to like it.

Kylie Marie: And you’re not going to like it. And you can’t be upset with the outcome, because you did it with the energy. into making the shift.

Angela Mondor – The Geeky Girl: Well, you could be upset about it, but then make a change, right? You have to be

Kylie Marie: upset more at yourself than you are at me. But, you know, yeah, so like being upset about it could be the fuel that you need to make a change.

Angela Mondor – The Geeky Girl: The catalyst to say, oh, wait a second, I can take it anymore.

Kylie Marie: Yeah, and there, there, that is, that is something to be said about me. I generally do what I want to do. And, and, and there, but I did it for the longest time. I was the oldest child. I was the oldest grandchild. I took care of everybody. I talked for my brother and, and not just for a couple of days, for a couple of years, like distinctly remember being at Dairy Queen and getting in trouble because my mom asked him what ice cream he wanted.

And I said, he wants swirl with eyes. And she said, well, I didn’t ask you. I asked him and I said, I know. And I answered for fun because that’s what he wants. And I, I’m sure I got in trouble, but I distinctly remember my mom being like, [00:33:00] no, but it’s because I always looked after him. I knew what he wanted.

Because you were only three years difference, but like I was still already like taking care of him as a kid. Right. And so as I got older and like my, my next brother, my third, my third my second brother, he was born when I was 10. And so then it was like a whole different level. I was helping. I was actually helping take care of him.

So I’ve been taking care of people my whole life. So by the time my oldest son, you know, he was nine. That’s when I had that, I had that break where I was like, Whoa, something has to shift because I’ve gone through it. And then it was like, as an adult, like I’m only 29 and I’m just like, not something’s not right.

And I did a so much self granted and I’m telling you when you choose yourself, babe, it gets to being so much better. Like you said, you know, there can be guilt and I, and I, and I really aim towards women a lot because I do feel that. We tend to be the caretakers. We tend to not take care of ourselves because We’re [00:34:00] nurturing and that’s a wonderful, great thing, but we need to be nurtured as well.

And so I do tend to kind of aim towards women. I do tend to work most more with women because we do tend to kind of be the ones who take on that load, but it’s okay to ask for help and it’s okay to delegate things. Like I don’t have time to clean my house in my busy season. So I hire someone that’s okay, but I’ve had people tell me, well, no, it’s not like.

Because they feel as if they have to be the ones to do it,

Angela Mondor – The Geeky Girl: right?

Kylie Marie: And that’s going to, you know, it’s, well, I can’t tell my friends that I use it. Yes, you can, you can, because it’s what we need. And so, you know, it’s, I tell people hire the cleaner, you know, you know, like if your car is a mess, I have four kids.

My car’s a mess all the time. Guess what’s going to happen in the spring. I’m not going to clean it. I’m going to go get it detailed. And I’m going to delegate that job to someone else because I don’t, I don’t like doing it. No, no, you don’t have to tell. But like, I really don’t like doing it. And so I’m going to delegate that job to somebody else.

So that way I at least have a tidy car, [00:35:00] right? It’s just little things from cleaning the house or doing that. And even to like bigger things, you know, and if it’s at work, maybe you need to delegate a task or a project to somebody else. With my work as, I was in my real estate side more heavily. I don’t really love labor, like the filing, the keeping track of everything.

I love working with clients. I can put together an amazing offer. I can win, I’ve gotten people 100, 000 over what they were offered from a corporation to buy their land, and I’ve gotten people 200, 000 off of land.

Okay. I love what I do and I’m good at it, but the backside I’m not and it is part of the job. But guess what? I delegate it to somebody who loves to do that and hates to work with the people. Okay. There is a perfect balance out there. You just have to find those people and they’re out there and they, they want to do that.

So I delegate the paperwork to my assistant and that does stretch through other parts of my life as well. And in my coaching company, she kind of is like, She’s the gatekeeper. She’s on the back side. I’m not here working with the [00:36:00] people. I’ll get on the stages. I’ll do all of that. But she’s making sure that the wheels are greased.

But I’ve delegated that because I know that if I have to take all of that on, I’m not going to have the capacity for everything and it’s and it’s going to stress me out. I’m not going to show up. As vibrant. Exactly. Yes. It’s all about knowing what we’re best at, right? Celebrating that. Really, just like going all in on what we’re really good at.

Angela Mondor – The Geeky Girl: And the delegation is beautiful. I just, I love delegation. It’s one of my favorite things. I mean, you should do it. It’s totally okay. Yeah. I’ll give you permission. Yeah. So tell everybody where they can find you. How can they connect with you in another way?

Kylie Marie: Absolutely. So I am very active on social so you can find me on social.

So the Kylie Marie on Facebook and on Instagram. And if you find me on my personal page, follow me. I, I don’t know that you can add me as a friend, but you’re welcome to follow me because I do share a lot on my personal page too. And then I also have a website, the Kylie Marie. com. But if you jump into my socials, you’ll [00:37:00] get more of this like more intimate, more personal connection.

And I do drop a lot of kind of like freebies on my like Instagram and my Facebook. So sometimes I’ll throw something out for the day or I’ll do a little discount or something like that. And you can also find me on LinkedIn. And I’m just trying to be more, I’m trying to be more active on that one.

But those would be the best places. Awesome. Okay. Well, we’ll make sure that all of those links are down in the show notes as well. And it’s been super awesome speaking to you today. I appreciate you being here.

Thank you so much for having me. It’s just been so great chatting with you. We bond so well.

Angela Mondor – The Geeky Girl: It’s been an awesome conversation. And thank you for being part of the podcast. Thank you for listening to the podcast. Thank you for being here. And for listening to everything that Kylie and I had to say, because like we had a lot of things to cover. So thank you so much. Please come again and we’ll see you next week.

Have a great day. Bye for now.

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