Once you begin to talk about a loved one who has already passed on or who is in the process of dying it brings many different emotions. The first thoughts that I usually have are about how that person was in life, and how did they relate to the people around them. Then there is the concept of who I have become, how do I interact with people in the world. I have heard many different sources say that if you want to know what kind of person you are; think about the eulogy that someone close to you would write about your life. This thought sticks out in my mind in times like these.
My grandmother bless her soul is transitioning as I write this. We have been told that she may not live through the night. The irony of this situation is that we have been told that grandma is “waiting” for all her daughters to get together before she dies. Well we were on our way to the city to inter my aunt’s ashes (she died many years ago now) and most of my grandmother’s daughters will be present (including the one that we are interring). So for her to pick this opportunity to pass it is just like her. Grandma gets her way!
It is funny how we put so much into the “things” my grandmother used to take nail polish and put initials of the people who would get the item in question. Well she has been in a facility for many years and her “things” have been disbursed. It is amazing how the living can still fight and bicker about the “things” that are left behind.
The one thing about loosing a loved one is the ultimate hassles of dealing with the people you are related to who are still living! Why is it that we are so mean to the people that we are related to? Is it that we see parts of ourselves that we don’t like in them and that is the reason we push them away? Perhaps it is our fear of loosing them that makes us want to keep them at a distance. I think everyone has a reason to keep people away from them, what is your reason and is it worth all the energy you have to put into it?
