Hey there, friend. Let’s be real—December is here, and with it comes the chaos, cheer, and sheer exhaustion of the holiday season. Some of us absolutely thrive during this time, decking every hall, baking every cookie, and soaking in every moment of festive delight. And then there are people like me, who enjoy the idea of the holidays but find the reality… a bit much.

I want to share some personal reflections on the season, not because I have it all figured out (spoiler: I don’t), but because maybe you’ll see a bit of yourself in my story. The holidays can be complicated—full of love, tradition, and that sneaky, creeping pressure to be everything to everyone. So, let’s talk about family, traditions, and the gift of finding balance.

Family Dynamics: Chaos, Love, and Setting Limits

Growing up, my holiday experience was small and cozy. It was usually just me and my mom on Christmas Day, maybe a visit to my aunt’s house. We didn’t have big gatherings or complicated logistics. Fast forward to marrying into a family where Christmas means 35+ people crammed into a single house, and let me tell you—it was a lot.

The first few years were overwhelming. I wanted to fit in, to embrace their traditions, but I’d never been around so many people at once. The noise, the food, the juggling of schedules—it felt like running a marathon with no training. Over time, I’ve learned to set boundaries. Now, we go, we participate, and when it’s time to leave, we leave. My daughter, when she was younger, had a foolproof system: she’d tap me on the leg, look me in the eye, and say, “Home.” That was our cue.

Here’s the thing—honouring your limits doesn’t mean you don’t love your family. It means you love yourself enough to recognize what you can handle. Sometimes that means being the first ones out the door, and that’s okay.

Traditions: Embracing the New and Letting Go of the Old

Traditions are funny things. They can be comforting, nostalgic, and deeply meaningful—or they can feel like obligations that weigh you down. One year, our little family decided to skip the big gathering and go skiing instead. We ended up cooking turkey in a hotel room with a countertop oven because the whole town was closed for Christmas. It was chaotic and imperfect, but it was ours, and we had a blast.

I’ve realized that traditions don’t have to look the same every year. They can change, adapt, and grow with you. Some years, we’re all in for the big family event; other years, we’re low-key at home in pajamas. And that’s the beauty of it—traditions should serve you, not the other way around.

If there’s a tradition that fills you with dread, give yourself permission to rethink it. It doesn’t mean you’re a Grinch; it means you’re human.

The Art of Saying No

Here’s a lesson that took me far too long to learn: You don’t have to say yes to everything. Not every cookie exchange, office party, or holiday gathering needs to make it onto your calendar. I used to feel so guilty turning down invitations, worried people would think I didn’t care. But here’s the truth: saying no to something is really saying yes to something else—usually your sanity.

If I’m honest, I still struggle with this. Sometimes I catch myself committing to things that I know will leave me drained. But I’m getting better. These days, I ask myself a simple question: “Will this add joy to my life, or will it drain me?” If it’s the latter, I politely decline. It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it.

Self-Care: Finding Moments of Joy

Holidays are hectic, but they’re also an opportunity to recharge—if you let them. A few years ago, my husband and I talked about how much I needed little breaks when our kids were small. Whether it was a solo trip to the coffee shop or a rare day alone in the house, those moments were my lifeline.

Now that my kids are grown, I’ve tried to carry that lesson forward. I’ve learned to carve out time for things that make me feel alive—reading a book, taking a walk, or just sitting quietly with a cup of tea. It doesn’t have to be big or elaborate. Sometimes it’s the simplest things that bring the most peace.

If you’re not sure how you feel about the holidays—what you love, what you dread—this is your year to take notes. Pay attention to what lights you up and what drains you. Journal about it, talk it out, or just make a mental note. Over time, you’ll start to see patterns, and that awareness is the first step toward creating a holiday season that actually works for you.

 

The holidays are messy, beautiful, and imperfect. They’re full of joy and challenges, laughter and tears. But most importantly, they’re yours to shape. Give yourself permission to step back, set boundaries, and embrace what truly matters to you.

And if all else fails, remember this: It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to leave early. It’s okay to cook a turkey in a hotel room if that’s what makes your holiday feel right. You don’t owe anyone the “perfect” holiday—whatever that even means. What you do owe is yourself some grace, some rest, and a little room to breathe.

Here’s to a season of finding your balance—and maybe even a countertop turkey or two. 🎄